The Art of Living
Have you ever asked yourself what causes suffering?
There are two kinds of thoughts or patterns that our mind loves to explore. Thoughts that are pleasant and unpleasant.
Our mind likes to live in the past because we want to rerun those ecstatic experiences we had. By reminiscing with those pleasant memories, we start to crave them. We often forget that those memories can also be created by making a new experience but many of us get stuck with the idea from the past.
On the other hand, many of us aren't aware that we try to avoid some of the experiences that we had in the past. For instance, it may be an embarrassing speech we had in front of the class which haunted us even as we got older. We have never accepted it and made peace about it. We never saw the other side of the coin. We usually don't question what could've been the lesson from those embarrassing or traumatic experiences. When we dive deep into our minds, there will be unpleasant thoughts that will come up. It is similar to a surgical operation but this time we are doing it with our own mind. When you cut open a wound at its root, the pus will come up on the surface. It’s the same thing with our past. Unlocking these memories will stir up a feeling that we have tried to conceal. All of these feelings, whether good or bad, will start to come up on the surface which allows us to confront them. These feelings may be unpleasant or not should be acknowledged. This process is something we need to face and accept in order to move forward. Remember that our past is gone forever and all we can do is to carry those lessons for us to become a better person.
The other path that our mind likes to wander off to is thinking about the future. This process has its ups and downs. Thinking of our future will enable us to prepare ourselves and chart a course necessary for us to achieve all the skills and resources needed for us to grow to our full potential. But this kind of thinking, when done too much creates tension and agitation of the mind. This is the reason why we become paralyzed by the thoughts of the goals that we want to accomplish. We become a perfectionist, a self-critique and we tend to condemn our own process. These negative thoughts will linger in our minds as we deal with problems that we encounter. It's great to plan ahead, but we need to have balance and acknowledge that the future is the future, it won't happen until it is present. All we can do is to prepare for it, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. At this point, it is healthier for both the mind and the soul to engage in activities rather than immersing ourselves into hours of worry and anxiety, for through experience comes knowledge and wisdom.
This is where having self-awareness is important. When an individual is present, he or she is able to identify when craving, aversion, misery, agitation and all these negative emotions arise in our body. This causes us to react without any thought. Self-awareness helps us recognize the patterns that we can easily fall into when we let our mind wander off into thinking about pessimistic thoughts. If you become self-aware, you acknowledge the feelings whether good or bad and you deal with it head on. You have a better understanding of the true meaning of empathy. Empathy towards yourself and to other people.
One practice that has helped me the most is mindfulness meditation. There are many studies that show that meditation has tremendous benefits for our mind. It trains the brain to focus more on the moment. It slows down your thoughts which helps with decision-making. It also helps mitigate those negative thoughts and you become more aware of positive outcomes. I treat meditation as an exercise for my brain. Just like we go to the gym to get stronger and healthy, meditation is a method that we can use to activate and reset our thinking process. We tend to forget that our brain also needs some exertion and meditation is a great training tool. It is one of the tools I use to reflect and analyze what is going on inside my mind.
Mindfulness, on the other hand, is a way of being. It allows us to be more mindful with our energy, thoughts, on how we speak and how our day has been. This is the practical side of meditation. As a famous statement goes, "Knowledge isn't power, applied knowledge is power." We need to apply the lessons and reflections that we do during our meditation practice and from there we can decide with our conscious mind if we are on the right path.
Have you ever heard the term "Know Thyself" by a famous philosopher Socrates? This phrase means that we need to know the truth of our being not only on the surface level, but in the subtle level. Many of us become acclimated or have become complacent that we no longer re-examine our lives or who we genuinely are. This identity that we carry at this moment might not be the one we truly want. It might have come from the opinions of society, parents, teachers, and social media. All these Saints, Sages, Gurus, and successful individuals became who they are because they know themselves not only in an intellectual level, but also in the experiential level.
"An unexamined life is not worth living." This statement means that we have to explore the truth of who we are and the reality of our whole being because this will help us to have a better understanding of our own purpose. We all have to seek what gift the Universe, God, Soul, or Higher Power has given us to contribute and have an impact into this world. We all have our unique traits and characters. The reality that the Buddha, Christ or Muhammad had experienced when they were "Enlightened" with their own purpose will be different from your own enlightenment. One person can have a million differences from another person which is why all the experiences that we have are unique to each and every one of us. We should not live our lives expecting that we are going to have a life the same as that of another, but we must live our lives in our own unique way.
Do you genuinely know yourself?
Are you living in the present moment?
Are there any lingering feelings about the past or future?