Deal With Your Attitude
Someone who would complain about dealing with another person’s attitude fails to realize, it is not the person’s attitude they need to deal with but it is their own attitude.
It is their own perspective and attitude towards that person’s emotions that creates the physical tension and often a negative response. Here are two easy solutions to maintain peace when “dealing with” someone’s attitude.
1. Question your own attitude! Ask yourself why you’re responding in a defensive manner or taking offense instead of trying to connect, understand, and empathize with the individual. Surely you know complaining about them being upset and fighting them on their feelings isn’t an effective strategy for peace.
2. Choose to not mirror or take on their negative feelings. Don’t just shrug it off or act immune to it, just respond in a calm and reasonable manner. Remain open to the possibility that how they feel may be fair. Whether it has to do with something you did or not. Hearing the other person out without reciprocating their negative emotions can go further than entering a debate or shouting match.
Whether you feel you’re right or wrong is irrelevant. The focus is peace if you don’t want to “Deal with” the attitudes of others. Sort yourself out, take note of what actions, behaviors, and habits, are preventing you from connecting with those you care about and need to work with.
The real fruit will come from learning what you can do to better serve your own growth.
The alternative is that you distance yourself from the person and I’m not talking about taking a little space. I’m referring to ignoring what those close to you are upset about, never questioning your responses, or looking at why something is challenging for you. This is one way to develop the limiting habit of Avoidance.
Doing this whenever someone has a problem with you, and constantly doing this with people who challenge how you show up in your life will not serve you. By the way, most of the people who challenge you care about you to some degree. So, the consistent practice of avoidance will lead to emotionally isolating yourself and limit your opportunities for progress.
Check in with yourself first, do not instantly jump to defend or debate, aim for curiosity and understanding.
If you face the fire, you can learn from conflict and challenging times. It’s through understanding that we gain a greater ability to create positive change.