Never Give Advice

When it comes to your family, friends, colleagues, or anyone else that you personally know, we would think that giving advice is an amiable way to show that we care and love them, but this isn't the case most of the time.

There is a dichotomy to this idea of giving advice or not giving advice. It’s ok to give them answers if they ask you for what pictures to post in their social media, what series or movies to watch in Netflix, or font to use in their project. These could be something that is obvious for you that could benefit them, but what I am talking about is not apparent which is our Emotion. 

Many people are quick to judge and give poor advice to others that they think that could work for them, but what they don’t know is that usually what they are asking for you is Listen, Sympathize, Learn, and Support them without giving out any advice. There might be people that in fact want your advice whether it would be what diet they should follow, what values and beliefs they should have, relationship or what style of martial arts is the best for them.

We need to remember that there is not a one size fits all method. It may have worked for you eminently well, but it doesn’t mean this will work with other people. The decisions that we make aren't always black and white. There’s so much gray area that we don’t take into consideration.

Suppose your friend is struggling with his or her weight and they kept eating junk food that precipitated their weight to increase. Is it a great idea to tell them that they need to lose weight? By you telling them that, they will feel useless and horrible to themselves.

A great method that I use with this kind of circumstance is asking the right questions such as: 

  • How would you feel if… 

  • Suppose that...

  • Will this choice propels you to an inspiring future? 

  • Does this empower you?

These are just a few examples that we can use to help them guide to the right path without giving them advice. This will help them think through the ramifications and think through what they would feel in each case that they are going through.