Don’t be afraid of Upsetting Others
You’re going to upset some people. That’s ok.
You’re going to upset people close to you. That’s ok.
You’re going to upset yourself. That one IS NOT ok.
Why not? Because of this very simple idea.
You’re going to live with yourself until your very last breath. Every second of your life you will spend with yourself. There will be plenty of times in your life where it will be just you and you.
Would it be nice to upset others less? Yes, of course, we’re not trying to be inconsiderate or hurtful of those around us.
But I do not recommend constantly sacrificing your own peace for the pleasure of others. Unless that fills your life with joy and abundance.
What am I speaking about specifically?
Strong habits of people pleasing for the sake of external validation, yet still feeling dissatisfied with oneself is no good.
In my life, I’d say unacceptable, and I hope that if you’re struggling with this challenge, you draw a hard, bright, line and shout “unacceptable” as well.
I’ve studied this a lot, wondering why people pleasing is such a big thing. There is a lot of this that is learned behavior. Just habits, some of which may have been formed as you were a baby or toddler. So perhaps it’s not exactly your fault, but how you want to show up in your life is your responsibility.
No excuse in life will allow you to hand over responsibility and retain the feeling of power or a sense of control in your life. We are responsible for our response.
The next time you’re more concerned about the opinions of others more than what you’ll think and how you’ll feel about yourself, below are some questions to ask. These questions are simple, but if you take a moment before instantly saying yes to someone. Try giving yourself a minute, or a few to pause, and think before auto reacting.
Ask yourself the following:
Is this something that I need to do? Why?
Is this something that I want to do? Why?
Does following through with this benefit myself and others?
If there was no external reward or praise associated with this action, would I still take it?
How will I feel about myself after? Why?
After asking those questions first, before responding, you should be able to make a decision you’ll be happy with, or one you’ve justified enough to live with. Obviously that choice is yours to make.
Just remember, you’re going to upset some people, and that’s ok.
And in order to thrive and be filled with joy you’ve got to do what’s best for you.